I have been on quite a few planes in my life time and it’s made me realise just how socially awkward I am! See, I am the kind of passenger that finds their seat and is then asked to swap said seat with a family or couple so they can be together, I always say “Yes, of course!” and move right away while they say thank you a lot of times and then I go back to my original plan of sticking to the little square of space I have been given and not moving or speaking for the next however many hours. However, it turns out that I seem to end up next to a chatty person all the time, often I don’t mind, I painfully make my way through the small talk (worst thing ever for someone with social anxiety) until they’ve told me all they want to tell me about themselves and in go the earphones and my eyes tend to stay shut… unless I need to stay awake so I don’t mess up my sleeping pattern too much which means in go the earphones and out comes the book / electric device!
So, here are some stories of times I have been on a plane and the passenger next to me has… interrupted my routine.
We’ll start of with the most annoying person I have ever encountered in such a situation throughout all of my travels… I like to call him Mr Book Man.
This story starts with a flight to JFK Airport to visit my beloved cousins in New York, the plane is quite large so it has the weird two-three-two seat thing going on.
I find my seat and low and behold I am in the middle of one of the three seat aisles, double the possibility of a chatty new friend! I see a couple out of the corner of my eye doing the usual “You ask” “No you ask!” before I get up and say “Am I in the wrong seat?” They both look a bit startled and then practically beg me to swap seats with the boyfriend so he and the girlfriend can sit together, of course I say “Yes! Of course!” As always.
The boyfriend tells me I have a window seat which gets me pretty excited, so I move to a two-seater aisle and sit at the window, then a feminine man with fabulous style approaches me and says “Excuse me thats my seat, I specifically got a window seat” I jump up, apologise a lot, he rolls his eyes a lot and eventually were sat, he then makes it very obvious that he has two phones and a macbook pulls out many design books and then takes a call to which he loudly debated with what sounded like an editor for his ‘new book’.
I had no idea who this guy was, but he seemed to think he was something else once we take off I take out my own macbook, I had to stay awake on this flight so I edited some pictures and a vlog, when I pulled out the laptop he looked me up and down and raised an eyebrow… like… not subtly either!
Okay so… I can get over that, he is a bit rude but I smile a small smile, remain silent and ignore him… Remember how he insisted on having the window seat and I had to sit on the aisle because he “specifically bought the window seat” well I can tell you now that if I knew how many times that man would stand up and make me move my laptop/notebooks/dinner so he could get up I would have refused to let him have the bloody seat!
The first time, he had to pee, fair enough, the second time he wanted a drink… slightly annoying but okay, the third time he proceeded to do some very strange stretches which meant his but was quite close to my face the whole time and say this with no exaggeration, I lost count of what he was doing by the eleventh time.
ELEVEN TIMES that man made me move, pack up my stuff, put my tray pack so he could get past, sit there and wait for him so I didn’t have to go through the whole thing again.
I would never have minded if in the first place he had not insisted that I moved to the bloody aisle so he could have the window seat!!
In the end I gave up and fell asleep in a position that meant he could get past without disturbing me… a very frustrating 8 1/2 hours!
I hope you enjoyed hearing one of my plane stories, I certainly enjoyed the rant! Let me know if you want to hear more! Tweet me or Instagram me @Synerjes